When it does not go your way, double down
I wrote this from a sickbed at my parents' place, in the middle of upskilling and in the middle of doubting myself. It is a reminder of why I started, going back to an astrology website I coded at thirteen.
Originally published on Medium.
if it is indeed what you love
I am visiting my parents in Delhi for a couple of weeks. Having met them after a long time, I was really happy about the same. Everything has been great so far!
Except that, I met with food poisoning two days back. I hit rock bottom in terms of my health ever since a long time ago, almost about to faint, my internals stretching out each time I had to run for vomit. The pain was excruciating, with my parents carrying me to the doctor. I am much better now and recovering.
Over and above, I am trying to upskill myself in system design and writing online. Sometimes, you hit a wall ahead and you feel that it is something that is really tough for you. You often start to doubt yourself if you were even meant for it.
I hit that wall physically and mentally.
I am trying to stay positive, take a step back and re-evaluate where I am currently. Often we are so bogged down by reaching a particular milestone, that we forget why we started our journey in the first place.
Today’s unedited write-up is a self-reminder.
I started my journey in Computer Science in class 7th as a 13-year-old.
I still recall the astrology website I coded back then — something I did not believe in much but was fascinated by the hieroglyphs and how one could drive their decisions based on when they were born. This was followed by several other projects — one of them being a cruise ship database management project (which hinted at my love for travel, something I did not do much due to the JEE preparations). I loved the homework we got in CS classes. I never took it home because I would skip the next class to finish it there and then. The joy of seeing something work and show up on the computer was too difficult for me to give up.
I feel like over the years, I found Computer Programming as a way for me to express myself through code.
I just want to keep continuing just that.
Expressing myself through code.
And in the process, try to impart a positive impact.
I owe this to the 13-year-old who felt his love for computer science.
To reinforce what I said earlier, “When the going gets tough, double down if you love what you’re doing”. Don’t let some unreached milestones or unachieved titles tell you otherwise. The love for art is enough for its pursuit. Eventually, if you are able to find yourself through the same, the pursuit would be worthwhile.
The beauty of not looking at milestones too much is the fact that you are not dealing with something finite, but you are playing an infinite game where you don’t just want to complete it, but want to keep playing, keep learning and keep growing.
Wishing the best for all of us!
Peace✌
Feel free to reach out on Linkedin if you are looking for any advice, just want to hit me up for a chat or want to get more regular updates on my journey.
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Originally published on Medium.